I’m ambitious don’t get me wrong, but I was under the impression when I accepted my job that my boss was good at what he does …

Now I’m half way through my business model thinking if all goes my way I will be responsible for a father losing his job, which could have major repercussions for his family.

It’s business though, it’s not personal and I want the job …

Where the lines between ambition and morality are crossed ill never know, I’m in between and at the end of the day I’m more than driven.

My brothers my conscience it’s times like these that I need my moral compass!

I told him, “the ending is just the beginning.”

My brother left for Cambodia again almost a week ago, it’s really strange living here without him. The whole time he was home I only saw him twice, I was purposefully trying to avoid him. I don’t really do emotional situations, I tend to avoid them until I can actually deal with them. He know’s that. He’s sort of the polar opposite.

The whole day before he left I was on an absolute mission before dinner, I found every photo we had, I went and had a photo of the two of us enlarged 12” x 16” (I think) and framed, then I printed all of our photos and photo’s with friends printed and bought him a coffee mug. You can cut photo’s down to size and put them in the mug, I did that, turned out quite nice. Then I bought him two journals, I thought what better way to document your trip from start to finish then with a journal. I knew he would’ve forgotten! And put a few things I know he would’ve found comforting in them!

The morning he left was pretty heartbreaking. My ex and I were both there (he’s developed quite the friendship with my brother.) We were all standing there and then it was time for him to go, I told him he was going to be fine, then after the hugs and the kisses my sister started crying and it was like the frikken domino effect, my mum starts crying so I grab her and start hugging her and she’s practically howling in the middle of Sydney International Airport and then what do you know Michael is crying, like come on! So here we all are in tears at the airport. What a scene.

Michael and I aren’t blood related, but his family has welcomed me with open arms, understood that over the past 10 years we are as close as blood relatives can ever be.

His mother has never treated me differently from her two biological children and is always there for me regardless. His sister Jin is the same. We’re family.

In my eyes family is not only who your blood relatives are - family is what you call home, the people who love you unconditionally, who are loyal, who have raised you and take you for who you are.

The absolutely do my head in sometimes but I love them! 

He texted me from Cambodia saying, “Hi sis guess who. Thanks for the notes you wrote me in the journal. I cried like a little bitch on the plane!” 

God I love him, takes a real man to say something like that my brother and my best friend! 

Anonymous asked: Darling what bra size are you? Sorry this is so wildly inappropriate. I'm just curious as we have such a similar body shape.

Well inappropriate as it is, I’m a C! Though that may change depending on how my friends have turned out when she arrives home from thailand!

Anonymous asked: Has their been many people that have thrown you off guard and make you nervous and how did they ?

It’s a very small handful indeed, I could count them on one hand. it’s not necessarily what they’ve done that’s thrown me off guard. Its their personalities, demeanor and charm I guess that makes me nervous.

Very rare but always a welcome surprise.

Anonymous asked: Put some photos of yourself up!! =)

I have!

A nice day

A nice day

My grandfather and I

My grandfather and I

My birthday

My birthday

My favourite “Strawberry” blonde!

My favourite “Strawberry” blonde!

Cousin Ben & I

Cousin Ben & I

A day …

A day …

Sexpo!

Sexpo!

My brother’s been home for almost 2 weeks now and in a few days he’s headed back to Cambodia to teach for 15 months … 

Wow, I’m so proud of him but at the same time I want to punch him in the face for leaving! We’ve always lived in what we call “God’s Country” so it’s going to be really different us living in different countries! 

Home is definitely where the heart is, he’ll come back, I know he will! 

Almost 50 years together with a break in between divorced and remarried! If I’m ever half as lucky I’ll be grateful.

I love my grandparents.

Almost 50 years together with a break in between divorced and remarried! If I’m ever half as lucky I’ll be grateful.

I love my grandparents.

Thinking I’m ready, probably not ready at all!

It’s an interesting end I’ve found myself in, I’m at a crossroad of sorts - I’m not really ready to be back on the “market” as such since the dissolution of my relationship months ago, yet I don’t really seem to have distanced myself from my partner of 4 years.

I don’t actually date and at the same time I feel like I’m ready to go out and meet people again. Which is a complete paradox because I only ever go out with friends, friends of friends or people who know my family! Being the psycho magnet I am and being unable to attract individuals of a sane nature, I tend to try and limit the possibilities of ending up with said “pyscho!”)

But more than that, I like to know someone well before I agree to dinner, I never like to commit to a bad investment and the attraction has to be immediate and something that absolutely draws me in.

It’s not often that someone has the ability to throw me off guard, make me nervous and absolutely fall apart and on the rare occasion that has happened, they’ve had me from day one.

It’s ironic, I found someone this year who threw me, had me from day one, we’d been friends due to our same interests and finally decided to spend some time together as friends do outside of our mutual hobbies. Which is all I thought it was, I make a point of having completely platonic relationships with men.

But from the moment I got into his car it was a completely different dynamic, I was nervous - I fidget a lot at the best of times but I was completely thrown off guard by his visual thinking, his forward and very open minded views on the world and most definitely his absolutely stunning green eyes.

Most of all it was his eyes, I always look at someone directly and usually people will look away at some point. A friend of mine once read if you look at someone for longer than 20 seconds your apparently a “serial” killer! However, when I looked at him directly, I hate to sound cliche or like I’ve stepped into a lame Stephanie Meyer book, but those green eyes of his just tore me apart. Apparently he looks directly at someone also, and with intent.

Needless to say I had an amazing day and an amazing night, it took a while to stop fidgeting and just relax, but in the end I did and the next week I was a hell of a lot calmer.

He just brings that out in me, my friend and I no longer talk due to reasons that I had no control over had I have known or been able to see or predict what was going to happen I would’ve prevented it. Though I didn’t and I still have no regrets today.

He is a truly amazing man, though we still don’t know each other well I can competently say that’s what I want. To be nervous again, to find someone who challenges me on all levels.

He focuses intently on what you say, is observant and has a great memory, challenges me mentally, is witty, charming, knows his way around the female body and accidently does tantra without knowing it - well that indeed is a man worth fighting for, if I’m half as lucky to find another one I won’t let him get away!

Especially if he has green eyes that literally see straight through your soul. I found someone who was on the same level as me in all things, wholly and completely fingers crossed I get what I wish for!

And besides, he declared me, “a walking LMFAO song!” - He already had me at, “I can feel your suspenders through your skirt!” When I accidentally leant on his hand in the elevator thinking it was the railing!